Breaking News-English to become official EEC language

[Grecian]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.


In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

[Finbar1]

Brilliant dont know why but I kept seeing Herr Flick .

[:FI:Sneaky_Russian]

Of course after English , Chineese is the most wideley spoken language.
I guess after the the Eurocrats have had thier way with English ,Chineese will be easier to undertand ni hau

[:FI:Sneaky_Russian]

A as in BREAD
B as in DEBT
C as in INDICTMENT
D as in HANDKERCHIEF
E as in GIVE
F as in HALFPENNY
G as in GNAW
H as in HOUR
I as in FRIEND
J as in MARIJUANA
K as in KNOW
L as in CALM
M as the first M in MNEMONIC
N as in AUTUMN
O as in PEOPLE
P as in PSALM
Q as in COLQUHOUN (a Scottish surname)
R as in FORECASTLE
S as in ISLAND
T as in CASTLE
U as in GUARD
V as in MILNGAVIE (a Scottish place name)
W as in WRONG
X as in SIOUX
Y as in PEPYS
Z as in RENDEZVOUS

Language is something that evolves among the people that use it, not dictated by a bunch of beurocrats in Brussels. Just another excuse to waste the Euro-taxes that are paid in to the coffers.

(Dem jam fool politrikstas don' know wa' gwan wid da english speeched in London rude boy)

fact :-More people understand Klingon than Esperanto.

question:-why is "Breaking News" always about as welcome as "Breaking Wind"?

[:FI:Macca]

Gah!!!

WArum konnen wir not to speak both Deutsch and Enbglishe linguas at the same Zeit?

Me not verstehen..

Glad they haven'tdecided to choose French as the official lg...

i still hear the...

"zis is ze Cadillac of ze skays" accent....

poor French folks...will have to learn english....

LOL

S!

Mac

P.S. Irish should be the official EU language. The non-verbal Irish, f course.

[Menace]

WAAYY funier if you read it aloud to somebody.

[:FI:Murph]

This reminds me of the discussions that went on some years ago concerning the use of French in Quebec. Quebec separatists were arguing that everyone in Quebec needed to learn and speak the "native" language of that Canadian province.
Some wag immediately asked which Native American Indian dialect thay were all going to be learning.

[Skipper]