Humour in Uniform part 1

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 12:39 am

Yeah, the wallet is in his right pants pocket.hee hee.

Skipper · Post by **Skipper** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 6:39 pm

AltarBoy wrote: A GOOD CATHOLIC

An Army chaplain, walking through a notorious section of town, saw a soldier exiting a known house of prostitution.

The soldier paused on the sidewalk and gestured with his right hand in a manner familiar to the good Catholic chaplain.

The chaplain promptly approached the errant soldier, saying, "I'm sorry to see a good Catholic lad like you, coming out of a place like that."

"Well, padre, I'm not Catholic," answered the GI.

"But I clearly saw you cross yourself as you came out of there."

"No - but when I come out of a place like that, I always check four things: My spectacles, my testicles, my watch and my wallet."

NOTE: This last one should be the motto of every Fighting Irish Member!

Thats one of the best yet

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:16 am

Ode to old soldier

Now that your nookie days are over and your pilot light is out,
What used to be your sex appeal is now your water spout!
Time was when, of it's own accord, from your trousers it would spring,
But now you've got a full time job to find the blasted thing!
It used to be embarrassing the way it would behave,
Every single morning it would stand up and watch you shave!
Now as old age approaches, it sure gives you the blues
To see it hang it's little head and watch you tie your shoes.

"Old Soldiers Never Die Just Their Privates!"

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 8:31 pm

US Navy
This is a transcript of an ACTUAL radio communication between a U.S. NAVY ship and Canadian authorities off the cost of Newfoundland, October 1995. Radio log released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10/10/95:
CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid collision.
AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees North to avoid a collision.
CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert.
CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
AMERICANS: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS ACCOMPANY US. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse . . . Your call

fighter_bomber · Post by **fighter_bomber** » Sat Aug 12, 2006 8:39 pm

Russian military manual...
"The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons."