i've made an incredible observation lately, while taking a bath in the bathtub, i've noticed that if i let a farte, the silent bubble actually "RISES" to the top of the water! yes, that's right, it actually "RISES" to the top in bubble form, then of course "pops" whereas i smell it.
(as confirmation, this happened again just last night...
)well, you know me---always have my thinking cap on and all that, so this recent revelation has started me to wondering/pondering and where in there lies my question to you, Uncle Fenster:
ie, if a farte will actually float to the top of a water-filled bathtub, it---ergo must mean that a farte actually IS gaseous in nature...ie, gas being lighter than water. ha... i know it's a stretch, but yeah, it MUST be so.
also, after noticing such, it came to me that when one is OUT of the tub and lets a farte, the smell actually travels UP to the nose in a remarkably short time... ie a fart (being gaseous) must also be lighter than the air around us! wow! what a novel thought there!
okay, okay....so if a farte is gaseous (which we've pretty well already "confirmed" by now) and lighter than both water and air, what would happen if a person HELD all of his farte's .... say for a month, or even a year? you know, simply refused to let them pass from his body? for such a lengthy time frame?
yes, this IS a serious question.
(a) would at some point such a person balloon, or rather bloat... becoming three to five times his original physical size... possibly even rupture and zip/zip/zip around the room from ceiling to floor like a suddenly released balloon from a child's doctor's office visit?
(b) would at some point such a person actually go ballistic? actually be able to overcome the earth's gravitational field and manage to fly about through the sky like the comic book Superman?
(c) or would NEITHER happen, merely the person in question become rancid, discolored, weak and sickly, giving off either a bad attitude or an offensive odor...or both---to the world around him at large.
(d) none of the above (please explain your thoughts on the matter.)
(e) or is my entire theory about farte's being lighter than water and or air incorrect and i've been too drunken on moonshine or beer (or both) to realize it? you know, sort of like the drunk at the bar seeing pink elephants and such? (I pray this is NOT the case!)
at this point i've about went as far as i can go with this theory without rupturing my remaining brain cells.
PLEASE Uncle Fenster...help me IF YOU CAN!
thanks,
Beowolff
