Fighting Irish Forums

An old gentleman wearing a beat-up old leather flying jacket sat down at theStarbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him...
She turned to the man and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying; biplanes, Cubs, Aeronca's,T-6s, flew in WWII in a B-25, and later Sabre jets in the Korean conflict. I taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so yes, I guess I am a pilot.'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women.As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower,I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women.It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked,'Are you a real pilot?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian.'

Nice one

I'm in the store wearing my work uniform, and eventually someone sees the "PHI Air Medical Services" logo on my shirt.

Invariably they ask "What is PHI Air Medical Services?" and after I explain they always ask, "Are you a pilot?"
And invariably I reply "F*ck NO! You think I'm NUTS?????"

Then they ask, "Well, just what is it you do?", and I reply in a very haughty manner that I'm the one that gives the pilots permission to fly the aircraft."

But they still never "get it" until I reduce the conversation to the barest essentials and explain that I'm the mechanic.
Then they just give me a funny look and...hurry away.

After a particularly odd reaction, I once followed the woman down a few aisles, stopped her, and asked if it was the language, bad breath, body odor, or the fart that offended her.

I left when she called for Security.

Bitch.