poo-fa, course it does---especially at MY house.
last year it struck near my computer/library room and took out my modem and Vid-card and did over five hundred dollars worth of damage to my computer...also got my Sat dish. last night, it struck again, and took out my entire trusty HP computer...
and the blasted computer wasn't even plugged in to the wall outlet!
how's that for freakish bad luck?
of course it's completely clear to me why bad luck dogs my every step... it's payback---that's what it is. plain and simple. please allow me to explain myself.
back in the day...on a dare (and under the influence of some Tennessee white lightning and a quart of Bud malt) i let a couple of friends of mine talk me into dating the ugliest chick in our high school. yes, yes, she was the snigger of every locker room this side of Hades.... she had all the classic ugly-girl features... buck teeth (a savage overbite no doubt...not that i know that for sure mind you,) one, long uni-brow for eyebrows, a timid (i'm scared to death of a leaf fluttering, sort of look,) flat-chested (again, from the looks only, not that i actually KNOW that,) and with a figure sort of like an upside down apple. did i mention being overweight and burly but in the shoulders? well, never mind that if i didn't. anyway, you lads get the picture...she had obviously fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
now it wasn't an actual date, mind you...as in how i usually dated girls back then, you know the drill...get 'em drunk and makes the move...sort of date. it was a simple, quiet affair----only to shut up my friends (read drunken, lousy, trouble-making companions, here) and to show 'em that i had huge ballocks...ie i wasn't afraid to take a dare.
it was a simple pickup, a take out of county (yes, as far as i could from any possible known school contacts) to an out of the way, well-secluded Park and Eat, quickly grab a burger and coke---wolf it all down and then whiz her right back to her house and dump her in her front yard while the car was still rolling...sort'a date.
and i won the bet from my friends and viola! it was over.
only it wasn't---as you might have guessed by now. by the time i arrived at school the next morning, EVERYONE there knew of my WILD night with that girl... the poor, lonely girl had told EVERYONE how i treated her to SUCH a good time! and of course, that we were NOW going steady! there were even hints/whispers of how a marriage might be in the works....just in case...you know...it was a "have to" situation.
my God!!!!
naturally, my good friends that had put me up to it, were rolling in the hallways---laughing their sorry arses off. the bastages!
well, to my shame, i sort of freaked. i punched both of my pals out...yep, gave em both black eyes---right there in the hallway... then savagely hunted down and told off the ugly chick---in no un-certain terms. and promptly got a three day suspension from the frowning school principle...which i spent entirely sodden on bootleg white lightning---and you guessed it---budwiser malt... yes, it was ugly.
the whole thing was a throughly bad deal, that took me months to get passed.
naturally the ugly chick cursed me. sure, it's possible. there is no other accounting for the bad luck that dogs my every step. oh, yeah, it took a few years to kick in...but when it did, the curse took with a brutal, vengeful effect. case in point---my computer getting zapped when it wasn't even plugged up last night. no doubt, even as i type this the ugly chick (who by now has had cosmetic face and body surgery and looks like Jessica Alba...maybe even IS Jessica Alba!) is chuckling and gloating over my bad luck.
(sigh!)
oh well, same ole, same ole...
what? where's me frigging quart o' Bud and pint of white lightning got off to? see? more bad luck.
Beowolff
