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or well, maybe not entirely friends, but people that you were/are very familiar with----or in close approximation to (job, work, military, etc.) and on occasion had to actually converse with or exchange ideas in some manner.

i've actually had several of those 'odd' friends (go figure that, eh?) in the past and still do. i woke up this morning and for some reason, some of them were on my mind. perhaps due to the rather strange, recurring dream i've been having lately. (in the dream, everyone's whacko! yes, even my own 'sane' self) so, who knows?

in the service, i had this one friend (we'll call him, Josh---not his REAL name, of course) that worked with me on special assignments on occasion. and yes, he was odd. one day, in a bar on Cowboy Street in Thailand, he looks over at me and says, "ya know, Beo, I like chocolate bunnies. always have."

I really didn't think too much of the comment at the time, it 'was' nearly Easter. so i tipped back my beer and took a swallow and nodded. "yes," i agreed. "they're okay, though i really think too sweet. uh, and they don't go too well with Singha beer."

he nodded back to me in agreement and also took a pull from his own beer bottle. "yeah, you're right, the domestic chocolate bunnies 'are' too sweet. ah, but the wild ones, yeah, now that's where the flavor is. j-u-s-t right!"

at this point, i knew something decidely 'odd' was going down. (wild chocolate bunnies?) and i suppose my friend noticed my concerned look.

"yeah," he hurried on in explaination. "the wild ones."

"what---you've never been wild chocolate bunnie hunting? man---you've missed a real treat! why the hunt itself is the most fun... and when you corner and run the sucker to ground, you just reach right down into the hole and jerk it up by the ears. course ya gotta be careful cause some of 'em have real soft, chocolaty ears that will come right off in yer hands. and when that happens, most times, the earless ones will get away from you. sure as hell they will."

at this point, i'm looking into my beer bottle for signs of greenish mold, floating white particles---anything smacking of biological or chemical contamination. i also gave 'his' beer bottle a meaningful glance too.

"yeah," he went on in the mean time, "and some of 'em are BIG. ya can actually wrestle with 'em. course, the crazy rabbits... they're only made of chocolate, so if ya grab 'em by the arm and give it a quick jerk... 'snap!' and its off right in your hand! and t-h-e-n ya got yerself a tasty treat, for sure! yeah, just munch down! its good eating!"

"hmmm, sounds VERY interesting," i allowed, as i scooted my chair away from our table slowly, trying not to draw attention to myself or to my actions. "guess you're a real pro at that sort of thing."

"you might say that," he beamed in acknowledgement of my compliment.

"say?" he exclaimed suddenly, noticing me easing away from the table, and he was leaned way forward and his eyes were boring into me strangely. "where the heck, are YOU going?"

"ha, ha, ha," i laughed it off carefully. "too much beer, ya know. it's the old saw, drink one, whiz three. i'm off to the whiz stall for a bit."

he seemed to accept that and nodded again. "yeah, well, sure---but hurry back, cause i got this great chocolate bunnie hunting trip to tell you about. it was up in Iowa, back in the world. and ya know, come to think of it, we might could get a hunt of our own going too. hell, they're everywhere, even around here. i saw one just this morning from the window of our hotel...just farting around in the grass across from the parking lot. wild as a buck and no doubt with a white, creamy liquid center. tasty eating, i'll say again. why i'd bet good money there's a whole den of them out there somewhere."

"sure thing," i agreed, and slid on up and out of my chair and headed straight for the bar's latrine. and went right on out the back door. no looking back.

i never saw the guy again. in fact, shortly after that he was assigned to a different area, and at some point, supposedly had an accident and was killed. ---his vehicle went out of control and went off a cliff and exploded. josh's body was 'not' viewable, they said. a closed coffin service.

well, now maybe he did have a wreck. or heck, maybe there really were wild chocolate bunnies roaming around out there in the bush, and he got into a savage nest of them and they tore him limb from limb. who knows? who 'really' knows?

not me, that's for sure.

but yeah, now he was an 'odd' one all right. but i guess you lads can tell 'that' from the little story.

now i'm patiently waiting to hear about you guys' odd friends.

salute!



Beowolff

Beo, if I have strange dreams about wild chocolate bunny hunts tonight, I am going to send you a dog-doo letter bomb or something.

what? ---another dog-doo bomb!

(bored yawn..)

can't you detractors come up with something different for a change?

how 'bout a chipmunk-doo bomb? or maybe a zebra-doo bomb?



by the way, Zeke, pal... i'm dying to hear about YOUR odd friends. bound to have some, eh?

Beowolff

(PS, hmmm, this is a strangely quiet posting, i must have struck some sort of raw nerve here...)

Well brother Beo, I can say I've had some odd freinds, but my odd as compared to your odd are vastly different, I suppose. I think that, during my days in the Army, if I had a buddy that was talking about wild chocolate bunny hunts, I probably would have avoided him. LOL. I think the oddest "aquaintance" I ever had was in high school. This one guy was obsessed with including referrences to the male member into just about every conversation he had, and considered himself a professor of "penology", having nothing to do with incarceration, that is. The last time I saw him was when he called and said he was coming over for a visit not to long after high school. I never answered the door. LOL.

Oh, and do you have any idea how hard it is to get Zebra-doo and how much Chipmunk-doo one would have to get to make one decent doo letter bomb? Sheesh. Dog-doo may be boring, but when one has two good size mutts, it is readily available and in great quantities!

yep, thats strange alright, seems like the guy had a few too many, you never can tell though what someone else sees through their own eyes


wish i had a story for ya, cant think of any at the moment, be back if i do though


DS

And for something really scary my friend, what if these strange things only occur in YOUR life and not ours?

Anyway got to go and meet my imaginary friend for lunch. He gets so mad when I'm late. Some people, eh?!

I had a school friend I shared a flat with in London.

He killed and dismembered the woman downstairs and got away with it.

Five years later he confessed. I never knew a thing about it until then, when CID (detectives) came knocking on my door to ask me some questions.

He was given three years and was released after two. Manslaughter. He went back to Ireland where the cops nailed him for a rape he commited - just before he went to London.....

He was a quiet type, very intelligent, good-looking but never had a girlfriend....

The thing is, no one would have ever suspected it. I tellya it scared the hell outta me and change dmy opinion of people in a VERY big way.

Now THAT is an odd friend. And a very much EX-friend....

I wasn't sure about telling this story, as most people find it quite disturbing. Not least me.

now THAT was a decidely odd friend/ex-friend, Fen. graaaa.... a very wicked lad, and gives me the shivers just hearing about him. just imagine (as i'm sure you already have) him taking a STRONG dislike to you during that time frame. ga!



luckily, ya never whizzed him off for anything. sheesh! whack, whack, cut, cut, slice, slice.... (sound of power saw whining as its trigger is being gunned and released)

but there ya go. ya just NEVER know. they can look normal, talk normal, act normal (to a degree) and be luny as say a---chocolate bunny hunter.

Beowolff

I had a friend and here is end of the story..

Wise County Messenger Update
Monday, April 4, 2005
MURDER-SUICIDE – Wise County authorities are continuing their investigation into an apparent murder-suicide on Friday. Two persons, Delores Garza Baldwin, 39 and Michael Baldwin, 40, both of Azle, were found dead in the LBJ National Grasslands after the Wise County Sheriff’s office received a call from a man saying he had killed his wife and that officers could find her in a silver car at the boat ramp at Cottonwood Lake. Sheriff David Walker said officers found a car that had been backed down a dirt road near the boat ramp. They found the body of the woman wrapped in a sheet in the trunk and the body of a man lying on the ground near the car. He had apparently been killed by a shotgun blast to the head. Officers found a note indicating the couple had been having domestic problems.

That was last Friday. That guy was a lot of fun to be around. Always happy and cheerful. Never saw him upset at anybody or anything. He had a damn good job and was pretty well set financially. Didn't know about any domestic difficulties until I talked to his brother in law this afternoon.

Wierd shit for sure.

that's sad, friend Willie... and depressing as hell.

sorry for the loss of your friend.

Beo

Tactical... ga! sure, those 'odd' things could only be happening in MY world. i'll give ya that, but i don't think that's always the case.

i had a very odd girlfriend once too... a chinese one in Singapore. she was a beauty, long, jet-black hip-length hair, perfect face and figure, almond eyes that were so deep black you could completely fall into and drown in 'em.... about 20 years old. ahhh, and that 'cute' British accent when she spoke english... sigh!

i met her at a company party, ran after her like a panting dog, and finally managed a date with her. and after that one date, we were an item. whoa, the days of sun and fun in wonderful, beautiful, temperate Singapore. we had us a time, we did. everything from hoky Chinese movies (without sub-titles) downtown, to shopping for fresh veggies and fish down along the waterfront in the market sections... doing the carnival rides (she loved the rollercoaster) to strolling along the sunset dikes (like the Netherlands, Singapore is constantly re-claiming land from the sea) with the surf pounding in our ears and the wind blowing our hair until dark, then popping in our fave local restaurant for outstanding Thai/Indian/Chinese cusine. ahhh, and maybe a disco later on that night.

wonderful, wonderful memories!

man, i was totally hooked on that girl, and was getting up the guts to ask her to marry me. and yeah, there was something (shall we say) odd about this perfect beauty... for instance, i could NEVER pick her up at home. she said her father did not approve of mei-go-ren (American) boyfriends... and i knew 'some' pure blood chinese fathers were like that (the old stuckup pure blood marrying pure blood saw) and so did not question her on that.

we always had to meet at my apartment or a friend's house, or her married sister's house or at the theater or restaurant or whatever.

and again, due to the same problem with her father, i could never have a phone number to call her... only her sister's number to leave a message.

also, she would suddenly become 'tied up' with her family for certain long times... on occasion, a week or even two, and we could not go out. (it drove me nuts when that happened.)

but other than the above few mentioned things, she was mind-blowingly PERFECT!

then one day, i was sitting in my office and one of the little chinese girls from the phone/typing pool came in and told me i had a phone call. i picked up the phone expecting a business contact on the other end, but instead, this creepy, unknown, elderly, oriental voice...a man...spoke up.

"ah, mister Bullman," the voice said over the line.

"yes," i replied, "i'm he."

"ah, mister bullman, my name is Lo Chien Lowe. you don't know me personally, but we have a mutual interest that i need to discuss with you."

(ah, i thought to myself...this sucker is about to try and sell me some Singapore swampland or something... and Singapore has NO swampland.)

"go ahead," i said into the phone's mouthpiece. and the man continued on.

"yes, well, you see, sir---for the past four months, you have been dating my wife. and i have been very patient with this, but now i wish it to please stop."

(holy cow! dating HIS wife! the guy was surely some sort of nut case, i thought. i was madder than hell and about to go off like a sky rocket. i'm thinking some sort of money scam or something.)

"EXCUSE me, mister lowe...but i DON'T date married women! this is Singapore, sir. wake up. there are PLENTY of un-married women all over the place! there is little need to do something so sordid and mundane."

there was silence for a long second...then a long sigh. "don't get me wrong, mister bullman, i am NOT blaming you, sir. in fact, i doubt that you even know about the marriage. she's played this before, its an old game. i am sorry if you fell into it with her this time too. but i say again, it must stop."

i was about to explode into an angry, raging cuss fit and slam the phone down in his face... when he suddenly began to name---place after place, time after time, that i had been with HER! my beauty that i was about to ask to marry me! my heart leapt into my throat! i felt the blackest pits of hell and dispair spinning round right beneath my very office chair and i seemed upon the edge of falling straight down and into it all.

it was her by God... she was his wife... and the really chilling thing was that he had known all along. and evidently, by naming names, places and times, he had had us followed every step of the way on all our little escapades. he knew everything. somebody had been tailing us from day one in our relationship.

and okay, OVER THERE, that is a big thing. when you can make someone vanish for twenty dollars American.

thank the lord mister lowe was NOT a jealous husband!

when i realized my mistake, i apologized immediately. he chuckled drily and told me there was no need, since i had never really known the truth. "just don't do it again," he advised, and there was a bit of a bite to those words and i knew he meant them.

and i never saw or heard from that girl again. ever. its as if she never existed from that moment on. and Singapore really isn't THAT big of a place.

yeah, she was an odd one all right. maybe just a young, bored, lonely wife, looking for some fun and entertainment with someone closer to her own age... just needing a friend maybe, or perhaps a savior... from the (apparently) older, well-heeled chinese aristocratic man that she was married to. (perhaps it was even one of those family arranged marriages that one side or the other always hates.)

but regardless of all that... she could have gotten us both killed. or especially me, in some dark ally by some unknown Thai/Malay/Indian thug with big arms and a leather sap and a crisp, new, twenty dollar American bill in his pocket. and all because she was lonely... brrrrr, i still get the willies thinking about that. man, there are some MEAN folk hanging about in the orient. i mean, MEAN. you don't mess around with some of them. ever.

and that's the tale of my 'odd' girlfriend. or at least one of 'em. LOL!

Beowolff

Thats some sad stories... and some funny ones too Odd friends huh? Ive tried to stay clear of too odd friends, though i have had some slightly ones.. One of my friends was watching me playing a soccer match,and in the middle of the heat he suddenly began screaming " CAST A FIREBALL ARNE!! CAST A FIREBALL!!"....... He had obviously played too much diablo 2.. And that friend had his room full of cow stuff, cows everywhere, even the thing you have the shitty brush in beside your loo was a cow And he was obsessed about gnu`s too. Sometimes out of nowhere he started yelling GNU!! GNU!! GNU!! This is not as odd as your "friends", though i think that the chocholate bunny guy was just playing games with you beo

thats a sad story Beo and a scary one too,
damn Fen, now thats some scary stuff right there sir