Anudder funny snakey story..
Back in the day, out in the wilds, there weren't any bars within reasonable staggering distance. So we had our own rolling establishment. A beat up old truck, about enough guns and ammo to quell a minor rebellion, and of course, the MAIN ingredient, CERVESA!! MUCHA CERVESA!!
Minimum requirement for an evenings ration was one case each, more if we had the money.
One night we were out and about enjoying the scenery, and lo and behold!! There was a big old king snake in the road in front of us. I brought old betsy to a stop and we pondered the moment. Took a while since most of the evening's ration had been processed into water to cool off the tires..
My buddy , O.B., says.. "wanna see me pop that snakes head off?"
I says, "Sure, how ya gonna do that, Mr Wizard?" as we both open another beer.
He replies, "Hell, I'll just grab him by the tail and crack him like a whip!"
Next he says that FAMOUS Texan's last words, "Watch this!! "
He rolled out the door and several stumbles later, he caught up with Mr king snake. He nonchalantly reaches down and grabs Mr snake and goes to give him a crack..
Only one minor problem. In his haste to grab Mr snake, he grabs the bidness end!!
O.B. gives the snake a mighty whip and lets out with mightier squawl at the same time.
Mr snake has decided that O.B.s hand is something Mr Snake REALLY needs to hang onto. Mr Snake has no hands but he does have about thousand very sharp, lil tiny teeth.
Now O.B, is trying really hard to get Mr Snake to listen to reason. I guess he wasn't speaking the right language cause Mr snake wasn't about to turn loose. Finally after O.B. had been flailing madly,and squawlling loudly for about 5 minutes, the now probably deaf snake flies off into the night never to be seen again.
O.B. showed that snake who was boss.
I was laughing so hard, that I had to grab meself to keep from wettin me drawers.
In O.B.s hand betwixt his thumb and index finger, Mr Snake had left most of his teeth nicely imbedded in O.B.s hand..
I told O.B. that now he'd done it. He wanted to know why. I told him it was a shame that the poor snake was now deaf and it was gonna be real hard for that snake to whistle until he got him some dentures..
We drank the rest of our medicine and laughed as O'B. removed snake teeth from his hand the rest of the evening. He was whining about his poor hand and I had to tell him finally.. " O.B. I'd rather hear a fat woman fart, than a grown man cry!"
"El Brazo de Onofre" Willie
of course you end up in the Lone Star state for about 800 sump'n miles..