Snakes

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:47 pm

I wanna live by Willie too. Only if he leaves a big hole in the border fence for me to crawl through.

Altar-"Nah, nah, nah, nah, Mr. Border Patrol you can't catch me!"-Boy.

:FI:WillieOFS · Post by **:FI:WillieOFS** » Wed Sep 27, 2006 7:31 pm

Anudder funny snakey story..

Back in the day, out in the wilds, there weren't any bars within reasonable staggering distance. So we had our own rolling establishment. A beat up old truck, about enough guns and ammo to quell a minor rebellion, and of course, the MAIN ingredient, CERVESA!! MUCHA CERVESA!!

Minimum requirement for an evenings ration was one case each, more if we had the money.

One night we were out and about enjoying the scenery, and lo and behold!! There was a big old king snake in the road in front of us. I brought old betsy to a stop and we pondered the moment. Took a while since most of the evening's ration had been processed into water to cool off the tires..

My buddy , O.B., says.. "wanna see me pop that snakes head off?"

I says, "Sure, how ya gonna do that, Mr Wizard?" as we both open another beer.

He replies, "Hell, I'll just grab him by the tail and crack him like a whip!"

Next he says that FAMOUS Texan's last words, "Watch this!! "

He rolled out the door and several stumbles later, he caught up with Mr king snake. He nonchalantly reaches down and grabs Mr snake and goes to give him a crack..

Only one minor problem. In his haste to grab Mr snake, he grabs the bidness end!!

O.B. gives the snake a mighty whip and lets out with mightier squawl at the same time.

Mr snake has decided that O.B.s hand is something Mr Snake REALLY needs to hang onto. Mr Snake has no hands but he does have about thousand very sharp, lil tiny teeth.

Now O.B, is trying really hard to get Mr Snake to listen to reason. I guess he wasn't speaking the right language cause Mr snake wasn't about to turn loose. Finally after O.B. had been flailing madly,and squawlling loudly for about 5 minutes, the now probably deaf snake flies off into the night never to be seen again.

O.B. showed that snake who was boss.

I was laughing so hard, that I had to grab meself to keep from wettin me drawers.

In O.B.s hand betwixt his thumb and index finger, Mr Snake had left most of his teeth nicely imbedded in O.B.s hand..

I told O.B. that now he'd done it. He wanted to know why. I told him it was a shame that the poor snake was now deaf and it was gonna be real hard for that snake to whistle until he got him some dentures..

We drank the rest of our medicine and laughed as O'B. removed snake teeth from his hand the rest of the evening. He was whining about his poor hand and I had to tell him finally.. " O.B. I'd rather hear a fat woman fart, than a grown man cry!"

"El Brazo de Onofre" Willie

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Wed Sep 27, 2006 9:36 pm

These pics are pretty disturbing and not for the feint hearted. Note: The last pic really occured as seen on the Discovery Channel. The victim was a plantation owner in asia and he was attacked from behind by a reticulated python and was in the process of swallowing the man. A police officer shot the snake. The ones above are being debated as to its authenticity.

(LINK REMOVED DUE TO GRAPHIC CONTENT)

Altar-"We now live in a Commie State"-Boy.

:FI:Fenian · Post by **:FI:Fenian** » Thu Sep 28, 2006 7:56 pm

Easy on the snuff-snake pics... we have young 'uns here... it ain't right...

Capisce?

Good.

Nightcat · Post by **Nightcat** » Thu Sep 28, 2006 8:59 pm

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Thu Sep 28, 2006 11:43 pm

Yeah and the pic above is ok for them right Fenian?

:FI:Snaphoo · Post by **:FI:Snaphoo** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 3:10 am

To be fair, if you want to compare the two pictures Altar, the one up there in plain view is simply comedy, and quite frankly doesn't contain any dead people.

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 4:11 am

Hmmm..look I don't want this turn into some hot debate. I did warn folks it may be graphic. You folks never watched the Discovery Channel or any other Nature shows? In fact the pics was shown on the former channel.

Anyway, it was not my intention to make anybody lose their lunch and I will take the link off. And in future I will not post the likes of this again.

:FI:Fenian · Post by **:FI:Fenian** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 9:07 pm

Move along everyone... ain't nuttin' happening here

Thanks AltarBoy

Podge · Post by **Podge** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 10:44 pm

Just couldn't help myself... Sorry lads... but this is a snake as well... And not any snake... The ones here that have lived during the glorious 80's will recognize him in a heartbeat..

He's my hero...

And this one...

Just look at this bloke.. Is he taking himself serious or what...

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:41 pm

Ah, Kurt Russell and Escape From New York and the sequel Escape From L.A. Two great movies!

Gee, I wonder if they'll make Escape From New Orleans starring our own Falky!.

:FI:Falcon · Post by **:FI:Falcon** » Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:54 pm

AAAAAAA!

I've been tryin' for thirty years!!!!!

AAAAAAAAA!!

:FI:WillieOFS · Post by **:FI:WillieOFS** » Sat Sep 30, 2006 12:14 am

:FI:Falcon wrote:AAAAAAA!

I've been tryin' for thirty years!!!!!

AAAAAAAAA!!

Simple, I-10 WEST

of course you end up in the Lone Star state for about 800 sump'n miles..

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Sat Sep 30, 2006 12:31 am

Hmm....Maybe Escape From Texas may be better.

no wait that was the Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

Hey, WillieBoy you sure you wasn't Leatherface?

:FI:Falcon · Post by **:FI:Falcon** » Sat Sep 30, 2006 12:34 am

The Lone Star State??

But I don't even have a Green Card.

I'd never make it anyway,

too much swamp and wildlife in my front yard.

Fal "Honey, the 'gator's in the living room again!" con

Snakes

Altar Boy...

Good stuff!