Fighting Irish Forums

,,,sense something ominous in the way Falcon said

best of luck,

?


We have condoms???

I've been meaning to telya why you've been 'itchy' the last few months Dan.... it was Sheila you see.... she had an encounter with a sailor.... and ewe know the rest of the story.... A sheep in every port...

Cattle prods - which ones indeed....

The buffalo prods are quite effective, as they have a deeper penetrqation effect for recruits ... erm cattle... with thicker hide....

hmmm, buffalo prods. now, unless i'm mistaken, those are the electro-shockers that use the 12ga. magnum shotshells to actually "bury" the electro-probes deep into the flesh...correct?



i never really cared for them (we used to use those at the Lair) myself because i quickly tired of lugging 'round those twin #2 gauge cables (on their "two" three hundred pound reels) and those in-series connected 300 volt deep-cycle DC powersupply units.

and of course also using the extra-thick, double-layered rubber gloves, rubber boots, rubber apron and welder's mask while using the prod was a drag too.

course the apron "did" come in handy for the shite sure did fly when you fired off the prods and cranked the juice up to 'em!

still, that's old fashioned. these days (at the Lair) we opt for speed and ease of use... ie, we've dispensed with the actual prods and their accompanying baggage and merely use the 12ga. magnum rounds themselves filled with a handy combination of rock salt and Tabasco sauce. does just as well... and recruits don't even know the difference.

try it for yourself on your "next" new recruit.

Beowolff

we STILL can't persuade you to join Beo?????

i'll tell ya, pal, i've almost asked to join up with you great lads a zillion times... my old squad, the Ronins, is pretty much dead and gone with the exceptions of myself and Zeke... and two a squad does not make... so yeah, i've thought about it. after all, i don't know any better lads than you guys.

you've all took me in here and made me feel welcome, here and in your online games when i come across ya... and several have return visited to my own site, Beowolff's Lair and the two Lair extension sites... a grand favor that was for me. you've listened to my ramblings and read my tall tales...and flown my coop missions... and nary a bad word from any of ye to me. (at least to my face...lol)

thanks for that.

but ya see... i have no Irish blood in me at all. part American indian and the biggest part pure Southern American Farmer (which i'm proud of, of course.)

so don't know exactly how I'd qualify to you're fine and upstanding Irish standings. well, i did accidently pick up a hoe handle that an Irishman had bled on once (nose bleed, from being blind drunk on moonshine.) guess i could've absorbed a drip of his blood through the pores of my skin. does that count?



Beowolff

Join anyway!

The recruitment pitch does say "...or just sort of Irish..."

But, I have a slight advantage, I guess... My wife is irish...


So I can feel irish whenever I want...






Mostly...

and what about the ferrets?!

have you ever asked if they're irish?!

well?

have you?!

hmmm?!


Fal "O'Ferrity" con

You've hung round us to long, we've rubbed off on you...
Your about as Irish as a wolfhound right now

I suppose you guys are right... you HAVE rubbed off on me!

suddenly I'm feeling a need for black shoes with large, square, metal buckles on them... and an affinity for four leave clovers. oh, oh, oh, and a tall green hat (also with a large, metal buckle on it.)

say...

okay, where do i sign?



Beowolff

Falcon put it there. Prolly on the 'Squadron' page....

Anyway, if you've got American Indian blood in you, you are sure to have an ancestor that scalped one of those nasty 7th Cavalry boyos - lots of those guys were Irish, unfortunately.....

So let's consider this an act of reparation and pipe smoking, and we'll sort out the leprachaun suit and buffalo prod later

Welcome!

yeah!

on the "Squadron" page!

...

and if Beo does had lots of indian blood

and knowin' my colonial history

then there be a dern good chance he does have a wee bit of Irish in'em!




Fal "let the British conquer the world their way" con

well... i was thinking by Squadron page that you meant the 'squadron' page here in the forum. doh! and of course, i thought, man, those guys are quite daft because I can't get on the squadron page since its members only... so how do they expect me to apply? maybe a sort of sneaky, Irish trick to belittle and confuse the new recruits, eh?



then i fumbled around and found THE squdron page...and saw the application. imagine the self-arse kicking I gave myself over that!

anyway, the app is off and have already recieved a prompt reply from Falcon...and have sent my own reply back to him. so, waiting to hear the results if any... and bracing for the buffalo prod. (can i wear a double pair of underwear during its use? will that lessen the blow?)

yours,

Beowolff

...

can i wear a double pair of underwear during its use? will that lessen the blow?)

Long answer:

Wearing a double pair of underwear only increases your empty weight, while providing no additional protection due to the severe lack of absobent padding normally provided by the more quality-control minded corporations actively interested in controlling the outflux of bodily fluids when introduced to the blunt realities of the proverbial beating.


Short answer:

No.

good pernt Beo!

Fen, Gen, John-Boy!

maybe we can change the "Squadron" page to the "Welcome" page or something?

you know,

it would make it easier for hill people to qualify and stuff.


<runs>