The Greeter and the Baptist... coupla jokes fer ya...

:FI:Snaphoo · Post by **:FI:Snaphoo** » Sat Feb 24, 2007 4:44 pm

You Were Born a Baptist

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....and Since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The Priest came to visit Bubba and suggested that he become a Catholic. After many classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass ..and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and
raised a Baptist , but now you are a Catholic."

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison again filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and as he rushed into Bubba's yard clutching a rosary and preparing to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a Deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

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Perfect Wal-Mart Greeter

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. She's dressed in dirty jeans, a greasy t-shirt with holes in it and wearing flip-flops exposing her cracked and filthy toenails. When she yells at the kids, she exposes her yellowed, crooked teeth with more than a few missing.

The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you've got there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't! The oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Do you really think they look alike?"

"No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe someone had sex with you twice.

:FI:Heloego · Post by **:FI:Heloego** » Sat Feb 24, 2007 5:22 pm

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Gurkesaft · Post by **Gurkesaft** » Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:08 pm

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:FI:Ghost · Post by **:FI:Ghost** » Sun Feb 25, 2007 10:45 am

Hahaha a good one...

I have one as well:

A jewish man in USA decides to send his son to Israel in order for him to become more religious before his bar micvah. After one year his son returns from Israel and his father, filled with pride, greets him at the airport. So how did it go my son? - asks the father; Great dad, I became a christian - his son replies. His father almost had a heart attack. He didn't know what to do so he went to his friend for advice. When he explained what had happened, his friend replied to him - hmm, that's funny, I also sent my son to Israel and he returned as a christian. Two friends then went to a rabin, to ask for his advice. When they told him their problem the rabin replied to them - hmm, that's funny, I also sent my son to Israel and he returned as a christian. So the three men decided to ask god for advice. They prayed and prayed and finally god starts talking to them. They explained their problem to him and then god replied - hmmm, that's funny, I also sent my son to Israel and he returned as a CHRISTIAN...[/i]

:FI:Fenian · Post by **:FI:Fenian** » Sun Feb 25, 2007 12:42 pm

So we had him done in....

Oh dear....

AltarBoy · Post by **AltarBoy** » Sun Feb 25, 2007 1:57 pm

Good ones guys!

Recently I attended a local comedy festival and one of the jokes went like this: A Scotland Yard Detective, working with the local Police, was talking to a Trinidadian Constable.

"You know, ever since I arrived here I lost 50 pounds." Rubbing is reduced belly. The constable looked at him and said,"Oh, yeah? Well ever since ah took dis job I lost over thousand dollars!"