A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: Get their parents to tell a them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and al the eggs went flying and broke. It made a big mess."
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sara raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chickes, and the moreal to this tory is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'."
"That was a fine story, Sara. Katie, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, I do," said Katie, "my Mom told me this story about my Aunt Cindy. Aunt Cindy was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun, and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun before she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty of them with the machete, until the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your mom tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Cindy when she's been drinking!"
The moral to this story...
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The moral to this story...
You've got red on you.

Give me the punch ladle, I'll fathom the bowl.

Give me the punch ladle, I'll fathom the bowl.
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