Pet Monkey

Flynn · Post by **Flynn** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 4:07 pm

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some
olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats
them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the billiard
balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and somehow
swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in
sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey
ate and leaves.

Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him.
He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry
on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it
out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey
did now?"

"No, what?" replied the man.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them
out, and ate them!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he
measures everything first."

:FI:ZekeMan · Post by **:FI:ZekeMan** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 4:14 pm

Hillary Clinton walks into a bar with a toad on her head. The bartender takes one look and asks, "So what's up with this?" The toad replies, "Yeah, I know, it started as a wart on my ass."

Z

:FI:Fenian · Post by **:FI:Fenian** » Tue Feb 21, 2006 7:42 pm

Me like.

:FI:Heloego · Post by **:FI:Heloego** » Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:59 am

...like BOTH of them!

:FI:Noter · Post by **:FI:Noter** » Thu Feb 23, 2006 3:36 pm

Some classified information has just been released from the Clinton presidency. The winter after the Lewinski scandal the secret service kept finding the words "Die Bill Die" written in the snow. They collected some samples and the results were shocking.....

......turns out the sample was VP Gore's urine, the kicker was it was Hillary's handwriting!

Skipper · Post by **Skipper** » Thu Feb 23, 2006 4:43 pm

Pet Monkey

Pet Monkey

...

Me...